Did you ever tell a lie? A small lie, a white lie, as we call it? A lie you tell to avoid worse consequences, pain or distress and later this little lie turns out to have some serious consequences? This is what we do every day to ourselves on an unconscious level. We don’t want to see, know or hear our real truth, because of distress, pain or to avoid worse consequences. Wouldn’t it be better for us to bite the bullet, instead of keeping up appearances? Self-change starts with self-honesty, so time to get real! Because what’s a life to live if it is not pure and fakeness occurs? It is not your life, it is not you and living it is NOT satisfying the REAL YOU.
About what should we be honest to ourselves? Everything. I understand your reaction: I am being honest to myself. But are you really, really? Honestly? To be truly honest: no, you are not. We all are not honest to ourselves. Unfortunately, this is normal, because we are influenced not to be by society.
Why is it so difficult to be honest to ourselves? TV, social media, commercials, magazines, expectations, family, culture, education and so many other things influences us from a young age and forces us to be a certain way. But we are all different and we all want different things. We pull in one direction and society is pulling us in the other. We have to go to school and get the highest degree possible. We have to look a certain way. We have to do a certain job. We cannot be like this or like that. We are all pre-programmed by society and what others may think about us that we forget about ourselves and what we really want.
Why is it so important to be honest with yourself? If you are completely honest with yourself you will achieve a level of self-consciousness, wherein you are able to form and create yourself and your life around you as you want it to be. You will know your weaknesses and your strengths. You will be able to overcome your weaknesses with your strengths. You will be able to unlock and fully love yourself.
Sounds appealing? Well, let’s have a closer look at how we can achieve this honesty towards ourselves.
You have to pass 3 stages regarding every thought or feeling that crosses your mind more than 3 times daily. If it crosses your mind more than 3 times daily, this thought or feeling is likely to be an excuse, self-lie or run-away-from-the-truth.
- LISTEN TO IT. Take the time to really listen to your thought, analyze it, think about it and figure out what it really means. Best is to write it down and analyze it in detail on paper. For example: I am too tired to go to the gym. Am I really too tired to go to the gym or am I bored in the gym and I really don’t like it? There is a big difference between these two answers. Only one answer is true and the consequences of the untrue answer are self-destroying.
- ACCEPT IT. If you don’t like the gym and your workout, accept this. Do not do something in life you don’t like to do. Life is too short to suffer freely. Instead be honest to yourself, accept your thoughts or feelings and be at peace with it.
- ADAPT TO IT. Don’t try to change your true thoughts and feelings. It is your inner voice that speaks your truth. Instead, adapt to it. Find a way to combine what you really feel with what is important to you. When I was not being honest to myself I rather hanged in my sofa and watched TV than go for a workout. When I found my ideal workout, TV became boring to me. So find a workout that you enjoy and makes you feel pumped and good, in or outside the gym.
Be honest to yourself. Listen to your deeper inner voice that tells you the truth about what you really think and feel. Listen, accept, adapt and remember the gift you get from truly being honest to yourself. Being honest to yourself will unlock your inner truths. Being freed and unlocked creates self-love. Loving yourself makes you love life. Loving life creates happiness, fulfillment and joy!
Maitha E. Coninx – Life Coach and writer of the book Maitha’s Way Of Life.